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The StoryTeller

  • Migraine Drain | Poem

    April 17th, 2024

    A vice grips tight, a vise of bone,
    My skull it squeezes, makes me moan.
    A thrumming starts, a dull, deep ache,
    Then builds to thunder, no mistake.

    Behind my eyes, a pressure grows,
    Like molten lead, it seeps and flows.
    A fiery band constricts my brow,
    Sweat beads erupt, I don’t know how

    To hold it back, this searing tide,
    That pulses, throbs, with nowhere to hide.
    Each beat a hammer on an anvil bare,
    My thoughts like dust, lost in the air.

    The world around, a blurry haze,
    Sharp light a knife that cuts and fazes.
    A scent, a sound, intensifies
    The agony, a cruel surprise.

    Nausea wells, a rising tide,
    Threatens to spill, can’t be denied.
    My stomach churns, a knotted ball,
    As weakness claims me, makes me fall.

    The room spins round, a dizzying whirl,
    Gravity shifts, a topsy-turvy world.
    Time seems to stretch, each second crawls,
    Trapped in this torment, built of walls

    Of throbbing pain, a sensory war.
    I crave the dark, a silent door
    To an escape, a world of sleep,
    Where pounding ceases, I can’t keep

    This vigil up, this fight with light.
    Darkness descends, a blessed night.
    But in the dawn, the fear remains,
    Of waking to that grip, those chains.

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  • Quarter-life Crisis | Poem

    April 13th, 2024

    In the limbo of thirty-something years,
    A quarter-life crisis veils its fears.
    Bound by dreams, yet lost in doubt,
    Searching for purpose, a whisper, a shout?

    What’s the meaning, in this fleeting phase,
    Where paths diverge in tangled ways?
    Questions echo, unanswered, unseen,
    In the chaos of what might have been.

    The clock ticks, a relentless beat,
    Each moment a challenge, a bitter-sweet feat.
    Yearnings clash with societal norms,
    Amidst the storm, where passion forms.

    Am I enough, or am I too little,
    In this vast world, caught in the middle?
    Struggling to define what’s truly mine,
    In the labyrinth of life’s design.

    Through the haze, a glimmer appears,
    A spark of hope, dispelling fears.
    Embrace the journey, the highs, the lows,
    For in the struggle, true meaning grows.

    Not in perfection, nor in fleeting bliss,
    But in the quest, the courage to persist.
    For meaning is found in the quest itself,
    In forging ahead, in spite of doubt’s stealth.

    So let the quarter-life crisis unfold,
    A chapter of growth, a story untold.
    Embrace the uncertainty, let it ignite,
    The flame within, burning bright.

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  • I made a Horror Game in Excel

    April 12th, 2024

    I have always wanted to make my own video games – but have never had the skills (or the time). I had the thought recently that I use EXCEL far too much, so I thought why not make my own games in EXCEL. This is the next rendition – a Horror game in excel. Obviously there are graphical limitations, but with macros/ VBA’s I have put togehter a game I am quite proud of.
    So download Below!

    excel-horror-game_lake-cell_v1Download

    STORY

    Hello Friends- Welcome to Summer Camp!

    This is not your ordinary summer camp, for we have some special activities planned for you….

    My name is Bedtime Barry and this is my good friend Creepy Crawlies.

    We are your camp counsellors – don’t worry we will help you sleep FOREVER!

    Don’t you dare try to escape – the last children who tried can still be heard screaming…HEHHEHEHE..

    I hope you read the Information Booklet – otherwise this will be over far too quickly….

    CHARACTERS

    INFORMATION BOOKLET

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  • Horror Camp | Poem

    April 11th, 2024

    Deep in the woods where shadows grow long,
    A summer camp stands, deep fears stand strong.
    Children arrive with laughter and cheer,
    But soon they’ll learn what lurks near.

    The counselors smile with teeth so white,
    Their eyes gleaming in the pale moonlight.
    They lead the games and sing the songs,
    But beneath the fun, something’s wrong.

    Whispers echo through the trees,
    A warning carried on the breeze.
    “Escape this place,” the voices cry,
    But trapped within, the campers lie.

    Each night brings nightmares, twisted and dark,
    As creatures prowl in the moonlit park.
    Footsteps follow, unseen eyes stare,
    No one’s safe in this cursed lair.

    The lake holds secrets, murky and deep,
    Where shadows dance and nightmares creep.
    Whispers turn to screams in the dead of night,
    As campers vanish out of sight.

    The fire pit burns with an unholy flame,
    As spirits whisper each camper’s name.
    Run if you can, but you’ll never flee,
    The horrors of summer camp, you’ll see.

    So heed this warning, if you dare,
    Don’t venture near, don’t go there.
    For once you enter, you may not leave,
    A prisoner to the camp’s deceiving weave.

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  • I made an EPIC Adventure GAME in EXCEL

    April 5th, 2024
    adventure-excel_recession-rumble-1Download

    Times are tough. You lost your job, and others are hard to find.
    You haven’t worked for months, and need to get up to Auckland where jobs are still being advertised.
    You are down to your last $500, and are stuck with only your ‘trusty’ POS HatchBack.
    Get your ass up to Auckland, find a job and economic safety.
    Fail and its financial freefall for you!

    Information

    • Your POS Car can only get you 75km range on a good day – you wish you could get a better one, but times are tough!
    • Its also the middle middle of winter, and the roads are in a bad state. Busses and planes have also dissapeared with the economic collapse. Your only hope is to drive. This has nothing to do poor game development…
    • You have 60 days to get up to Auckland before all the good jobs are gone, you have half a tank of gas and some food reserves in stock.
    • Each day you can choose to Travel, Rest/Tinker on your car or Scavenge for Supplies. If you run out of food or fuel – its GameOver, so be careful!
    • Good Luck Adventurer”

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  • Lone Adventurer | Poem

    April 5th, 2024

    Adventure’s call, a banner unfurled,
    Through forests deep and mountains high,
    The thrill of the unknown, beneath the sky.

    With every step, a story unfolds,
    Legends whispered, in tales retold,
    Courage as compass, guiding the way,
    In realms of wonder, where dreams hold sway.

    The rush of wind, a wild embrace,
    Chasing horizons, leaving no trace,
    In daring leaps and fearless bounds,
    Adventure’s heartbeat, in every sound.

    For those who seek, the world’s vast stage,
    Adventure’s flame, forever will rage,
    A journey endless, a spirit untamed,
    In the thrill of adventure, souls reclaimed.

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  • Family Conflict | Poetry

    March 30th, 2024

    In the heart of kinship’s woven threads,
    A tapestry of love and strife,
    Lies the tale of words unsaid,
    And battles fought in daily life.

    First, the spark ignites the flame,
    A clash of views, a clash of wills,
    Each voice a note in discord’s game,
    Echoes in the silent hills.

    The roots that bind, they hold so tight,
    Yet strain against the weight of ire,
    Forgotten laughter fades from sight,
    As tensions rise, consumed in fire.

    But from the ashes, hope still springs,
    Forgiveness blooms, a gentle rain,
    In unity, the heart takes wings,
    And peace restores the family chain.

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  • I made Wordle Better in EXCEL

    March 26th, 2024

    Wordle is a flipping fantastic game – taken the world by storm and at its peak having tens of millions of players.
    I have recently re-caught the hype. The only problem you can only play it once a day. That feels like a problem we can fix.
    So I made a better version in excel – that can be played non-stop.

    wuzzlewords_wordle-but-better_v1Download

    Welcome to WuzzleWords. Not only does it let you play word after word, but it lets you choose difficulty settings to solve for words that are 4, 5 or even 6 letters in length.

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  • I made a Baldur’s Gate like DnD game in EXCEL

    March 22nd, 2024
    mercer_dnd_game_v2Download

    Welcome to the world of Mercer!
    Mercer is the home of a DnD style Baldur’s Gate inspired adventure game

    There are two key game components to understand to get maximum fun

    1. Mapping and Questing
    2. Battling

    Mapping and Questing
    The ‘Map’ tab is the central hub of this game – where you and your party will seek to save Mercer from the latest threat.

    • You and your party are represented by the Red Circle
    • Towns (and quest locations) are in purple
    • Moveable land is in green (light green for plains, dark green for farmland)
    • You can move your party using the arrow buttons (CellsAZ2-BB6)

    If you are ever stuck – refer back to the quest log for clues, or head to the nearest town to see if that will help!

    Battle Mode
    Note – If at any stage the battle mode seems too hard. Start a new campaign with ‘Walker Simulator’ mode switched to yes, this will disable all battles and allow for peaceful adventuring/questing.

    Battles can leave your party outnumbered – anywhere between 1 to 5 enemies will spawn to fight your party – so be prepared at all times!

    Battles use a simplified version of DnD mechanics, with four features important to understand:

    1. Initiative: The world of Mercer uses turn based battle mechanics. This means each creature takes it in turn to move and attack. The order of this is defined by an initiative dice roll, where the highest roll gets to go first. This order is set in the first round of combat and stays consistent throughout the battle
    2. Range and Movement:
      Battles take place on a wide battle arena, where distance is important.
      Each creature has their own movement they can achieve each turn, as well as different ranges of attack.
      You can only attack a creature if you are within range.
      Melee creatures for example can only attack when they are next to another creature, but ranged attacks can benefit from being at a distance

    Make sure to track the distance between your party and your enemy!

    1. Hitting an Enemy
      Once you are in range of attacking the enemy, we now need to see if your attack hits or not.
      This hit roll is all based on armour class and randomly probability.
      If your roll falls below the enemy armour class, the attack will miss.
    2. Damage Calculation
      Each weapon and attack move has the capability of hitting a range of damage. This damage scales with your level
      Details on what dice and bonuses are added to your attack role are shown on the Character Stats screen (accessible via the map)

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  • I made a Pokemon-like Battle Sim in EXCEL

    March 17th, 2024

    So I tried something new – I made an RPG battle simulator in Excel. Feel free to try it for yourself!

    collarwars_rpg-battle-sim_v1Download

    Game Modes
    There are three game moves in Collar Wars:

    1. Random – Two Randomly selected creatures go head to head in battle
    2. Versus – Two chosen creatures go head to head in battle
    3. Challenge – Take on 5 randomly selected creatures in a row.

    Difficultly Modes
    There are difficulty settings in Collar Wars:

    1. Easy – Creatures are at a lower level than you and wear no armour.
    2. Medium – Creatures are the same level as you and wear light armour.
    3. Hard – Creatures area at a higher level than you and wear heavy armour.

    Creatures, Types & Classes
    CollarWars is a small but technical game.

    • There are 75 newly created creatures across four different classes.
    • Each class has its own strength and weakness when fighting other classes.
    • Similarly the size of creatures and armour types of creatures have weaknesses and strengths against each class.

    Damage Calculation

    • Critical Hits double damage outcomes
    • Player Attack and Enemy Defence are either dependent on Move type (i.e. Mystic vs otherwise)

    Level
    This represents the level of your creature. The higher the level the higher the experience and the harder hitting moves.

    Crits, Accuracy and Dodge
    For each move there is a chance of a critical hit, missing an attack or an opponent dodging.
    Accuracy relates to move accuracy and an additional random 10% chance of missing.
    Critical hits are tied an attacking creature’s speed and random probability.
    Ability to dodge are tied to an opponent’s speed and random probability.

    Creature List
    There are 75 unique creatures to battle with in CollarWars

    Move List
    There are 124 unique moves in CollarWars
    There are two types of moves: Damaging moves or Status moves.

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